| Issue
of the week #1
The
Conversion Dilemma
"The
Jewish partner connecting to his/her roots, especially
if he/she is starting to take on mitzvos, can cause a
lot of stress in a marriage that was not there before.
Even before any commitment to observance, just the thought
of the situation arising may be seen as a barrier. Our
guess is that you've encountered a person who converted
to Judaism and left a Jewish-from-birth spouse in the
dust, so to speak, in the whirlwind of observance that
conversion of necessity creates. The demands of an observant
spouse to keep kosher or observe Shabbat etc. flies in
the face of business-as-usual. The non-Jewish/less-observant
spouse (even if accommodating) may well resent the changes.
The converted spouse sees no choice in the matter, but
feels guilty about making his/her spouse unhappy, or about
messing up a relationship that was fine before; or, they
begin to let their own observance slide to make the gap
less of a problem." (Shoshana Zakar)
Intolerance
and lack of respect between members of different faiths
brings much strife and discord to the world. When this
intolerance exists within one family the results are often
devastating. Among the greatest challenges of family counselors
today is keeping peace in interfaith marriages where one
spouse has discovered faith or has become "born again"
into a religious philosophy.
Testimonials
sent to our center identify three major causes of conflict
in such marriages:
1.
Gentile spouses who convert to Judaism and leave Jewish-from-birth
spouses bewildered or lagging behind in sharing the enthusiasm.
2.
Children of such relationships who now become living "tug-of-war"
objects between two people vying to control the educational
and social influence of their charges.
3.
Increased expenditure and investment of time and resources
straining the modest budget of certain couples.
Other
Issues of the Week
Here
is a sample of other pressing issues that might result
from visiting our Two Roads site:
Are
you saying that intermarriage is OK?
What
religion would our children be? Should we just let them
decide?
My
in-laws want me to convert....
Is
it OK to go to each other's religious services?
Can
we celebrate each other's holidays?
What
do I do when my spouse goes "head over heels"
for a form of religious practice?
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